ERIC: Welcome Paul, and you look as shellshocked as I feel over this edict regarding coaches and their underlings.
PAUL: Hold your horses, Ecca, what's wrong with the world, coaches and players have a special bond, the only trouble was when I played footy my coaches were men, never any girls coached my teams, I might come out of retirement.
Eric: Not that there's anything wrong with it of course, if that's what turns you on. This fellow, he's from Melbourne, and obviously he's got nothing better to do, typical academic.
PAUL: I reckon he taught Kevin Rudd politics at university, another dull bloke who wants his 15 minutes of fame. The other thing is coaches and players form a unique bond a bit like a doctor with his/her patients. Some people don't like other people to have fun anymore.
ERIC: No, and don't forget that bondage between coach and athlete is one of the most important parts of improving performance.
PAUL: Sorry, to tell ya Ecca, it's bonding not bondage. Anyway moving along to politics, know one really cares about the Federal Budget delivered by the Treasurer Wayne Swan. As long as I have enough cash in my pocket after I save a few dollars, pay the rent, fill the car with petrol and have a few bets on a Saturday at the TAB, that's the only budget that matters to me.
ERIC: Nobody cares about politics, full stop, except for the politcis of the NRL, boofhead. Phil Gould, come on down. Only thing I can add to your pathetic, useless comments that the Abbott will be very upset if there's no money in Swan's Budget for triathlons and budgie smugglers.
PAUL: And Tony will also insist on more funding for bibles and read the gospel according to Saint Tony. Moving to this weekend's NRL games, Ecca, I reckon the Dragons will bounce back and topple the Dogs at ANZ Stadium and the Broncos will gallop over the Titans in Brisbane.
ERIC: Gee, you're in a hurry - do you have a hot date or something? Who's the poor woman? Obviously a Dragons fan, as no-one else will have ya.
PAUL: Yes she is a Dragons girl and she breathes fire, anyway moving forward, Knights to beat the Roosters at Gosford on Saturday night and Raiders to upset the salary-cap cheats, Melbourne in Canberra.
ERIC: Back to the hot date, you're not coaching her in any sporting discipline by any chance, thus maybe some bonding may be in the offing?
PAUL: I wish I was coaching her, she is a track and field athlete and literally hard to catch. But more tips, Warriors to thrash the Cowboys in New Zealand on Saturday and the Tigers to thwart the Sydney Cricket Ground on Sunday. Over to you, Ecca, and please select the final two games.
ERIC: You're such a party pooper sometimes Haighy. But even I know the old saying, Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned, so I will get on with it and let you get on with her; have a great night. Here's my tips, with the usual condition, if you follow these you're a dill: Sharks will cause a massive upset and beat the Panthers at Fish Fingers Park, while over at Brookie, the Sea Eagles will soar and then pounce for a bit of smoked Eels feed. That's it, it's our first real blog on the cyberspace, and we have survived without doing our block. Say goodnight, lover boy.
PAUL: Thanks ols wise one, over out and see ya next week.
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